Koinonia of Life - Journal

Booking and Planning Updates

Theophila — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 09:55:13 +0000

I did book the Judy Chamberlain band about a month ago! They’re pricier, but they were the quality we wanted, and she was very understanding and willing to negotiate on the price, knowing that we still want to have enough money to have this wedding! The nice thing was being able to talk to Judy on the phone and be completely open with her about expectations, the eclectic mixture of his and my music tastes, and still get the vintage-y feel of it. We both knew, even before we’d started thinking about music, that we didn’t want a DJ. Chris thought DJs were tacky, and he hates the typical “party music,” and we weren’t sure about a “wedding band.” Add to that the large range of age groups and types of people that will be there - among them college-aged friends, people from churches, his childhood friends from the harbour, diving, and surfing, his old customers, and a small handful of people I knew from NIST. I’d had my heart set on swing and classic rock, and plus we both love a good live band, as often plays at Stateside when he’s working, leading to phone calls from him to “come in and watch the band tonight!” - and, as a consequence, spent money. When it came to the research and choosing, though, I pretty much picked Judy once I’d spoken to her. I spent some time contacting other musicians and bands so that I could get a feel of things, but I was given the run-around, flat-out insulted by - not even a musician, but - a “band broker” who hyper-inflated the prices (10k for four hours? get real!), and then disappointed when another band finally got their audio samples to me, and I found that the leader couldn’t really sing.

Joy was also busy, and I wasn’t able to get in contact with her again, so I have been contacting other coordinators for day-of coordinating. The last I’d spoken to Joy, she’d gotten a little overloaded, so it’s understandable that a wedding over a year away is not on the top of her list of priorities. In the meantime, however, I met up with Michelle Schneiter of Verve Events about a week ago, and her day-of coordination package is very reasonable, and I was impressed with how organised she was - getting the list of needs, details, names, etc. So far I’ve found her the most organised and affordable plus easy-to-contact coordinator. I’m 80% sure of booking with her when I can afford it. I get the feeling, however, that I’m also being bridezilla, not having much else to do, and this has been occupying my mind to chase away the bad thoughts from trying to balance everything lately. I’ve been looking for another job, as funding a wedding on a server and a hostess’ salary, and especially buying a house, is a little out there. I did go to an interview and pretty much bag a job, but as a student, I couldn’t justify committing to it for more than six months and give up my academic career for it, so I let it pass.

I just want to get the pieces of this wedding put together so that I have the peace of mind to be able to set it aside. I won’t have nearly as much time for it nearing the end of my studies and with the house purchase looming. I also don’t want to plague Chris with the little details, especially as much as he is spending all his time working and saving now that business is slow, and he and his father are on a tighter deadline to finish the house in Big Bear on the weekends before his dad and Masami (his dad’s wife) have the child in September!

In many ways, I’d love to be happy and just enjoy the moment, but my head doesn’t let me. I’ve seen so many friends get engaged since I’ve started planning, and it seems most are getting married before we do; not that the timing matters as much, but I am a little miffed that it seems easier for them. We don’t need the “large party,” but with many of those closest to us coming from out of town (some of our family coming from out of state or out of country), it would be nice to be able to spend the time celebrating over simple food and dancing. Sadly, “simple food” isn’t so simple or affordable when it comes to Santa Barbara. It would be nice for it to be as simple as getting married in a church surrounded by the people with whom we’ve grown up and who have made our lives beautiful, but as it is we’d have to exclude parents and those who’ve become family if we do that!

As of now, this is what we have:

Chosen, designed, and/or paid for in full (finalised, in other words):

My dress - made in Thailand on our vacation
Our bridesmaids/groomsmen - keeping it simple, two each
My bridesmaids’ dresses
Our minister - Pastor Ricky Ryan of Calvary Chapel Santa Barbara!
Our invitations (I designed them in InDesign) - paper, envelopes, etc.
Silk flowers (may decide on real flowers later if Grass Roots Santa Barbara keeps their “Timeless Orchids” package affordable!)
Reception band - Judy Chamberlain band, as mentioned above
Favour bags
Table layouts
Wedding day itinerary
Guest list

We have chosen but still do not have the money for:

Venue - Elings Park, which requires full payment plus security deposit up front
Photographer - Robert Hill
Equipment rental company - Industry Event Services from LA
Linen rental company (maybe…) - Bright Settings
Caterer - Simply Marvelous BBQ of Ventura
Wedding favours
Ceremony musician - guitarist Jason Sulkin
Day-of coordinator - (most likely) Michelle Schneiter of Verve Events

Things yet to be decided:

Mens’ formalwear - Chris would rather buy a nice suit than rent one, and we need to get the men fitted for suits
Cake/cupcakes - possibly Anna’s Bakery in Goleta or Henning’s Cake Boutique

It’s impolite to beg, but we do have a registry, and anything would help immensely!

God bless, hugs and kisses.

Lots of Love,
><> Elizabeth <><

Life Decisions

Chris — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 05:00:02 +0000

The time has finally come about that instead of finding places online that we should look into buying, now we actually go out and look at them with the agent and debate if they are big enough or if we can make it work somehow with our budget. That being the case it makes me feel more like I’m not just wasting time or thinking about possibly making a move into real estate, I now have taken the first step, and that is usually the hardest one to take. Those of you who know me, know that I am really into investing in projects (mostly houses and boats), but most probably don’t know that my original goal with all of it is buy a house in Santa Barbara. That dream is one step closer now that the market was kind enough to drop a little, because of it we may actually have the chance to get one.

Another goal that I have been looking at for a long time was getting into the business of real estate. This has been one of my life goals that, since I was a boy, have been working toward. Now I feel as though it is time for me to start my career and that it would be in the best interest of my family to do so as soon as possible. This being the case I have resolved to take the real estate license exam in April or May in an attempt to get my license to sell real estate whether it be residential or commercial. I have to say that planning for the wedding is probably somewhat responsible for this change in mind set because now I have to look at how it is best to take care of my loved ones.

Can Miss Etiquette help me plan?

Theophila — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 08:20:33 +0000

Just when I feel like I’ve been running around trying to organise and plan everything on my own, the boy chips in and brings me a copy of The Santa Barbara Independent, which happened to be the “wedding issue!” He also offered input about beverage, champagne/sparkling wine, wine, and beer selection, on which we will have to do more research and milk our restaurant, local vendors, and distributor connections. I was also quite happy to find a few more resources on local caterers that I hadn’t been able to find online and submit RFPs to them. Even still, I’m realising the little politics of things such as where to seat people (ideally, everyone I know should get along!) and whom I don’t invite, even though they’re a friend of a friend and one of my closer acquaintances as well, just because I want to keep it limited. We’ve stuck with close friends or those we’ve known for a little while but connect with very deeply and know that our friendship will only continue to grow. It’s been hard for me to decide not to invite certain people because even though we’re on very good terms, and when we do see each other, we get along very well, the fact is we’ve always been comfortable with not making the effort to keep in touch and with not getting to know each other deeply. I want those at our wedding to have a strong sense of the significance of the moment, not just in general, but to us personally. Our guest list is already at 100 people, but I can’t seem to send out “save the date” announcements without somebody else asking if they’re invited. What would Miss Etiquette say about that?

I am also still waiting to hear from Joy about wedding coordination. To save money, I’m doing most of the planning, but on the day-of, I definitely want somebody there to whom all questions and issues of procedure will be directed. Our first meeting went fabulously, and she seemed to understand our financial restrictions but also offered wonderful ideas about what we’d need. I connected well, which was a great first sign, and she had also worked under another well-known event planner, so she understands the industry. However, she has been busy lately, so until she gets in contact with me again, we are still without coordinator, caterer, photographer, and such.

Today (or yesterday, at this point!), we also contacted the real estate agent again to look at some homes we’d gotten off MLS and the listings he’d printed up for us a few weeks ago. The real estate drop has been a break for us, since we may actually be able to afford a better Santa Barbara home now, but it is by no means easy. We have to arrange another meeting to look at the rest of the houses, condos, and townhouses, and then visit several financial institutions to try to get pre-approved for a loan (just to see how much we could possibly get). Please pray for us, it is definitely needed!

God bless, hugs and kisses.

Lots of Love,
><> Elizabeth <><

Phew! Finally set up the journal!

Theophila — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 04:39:19 +0000

After some tweaking, I’ve finally set up the journal section of this site! Thank goodness! I had originally, rather stubbornly, kept trying to tweak it to direct to “journal.php,” switching over to MovableType until I realised how silly I was being - trying to to implement CGI-based software on my already PHP-based site. So I switched back, relented with the use of the “/journal/” subdirectory, and everything has been running smoothly since!

As of this moment, I have already bought silk flowers for the bouquets, corsages, and boutonnières, bought paper for and designed the layout of the invitations, gotten about 80% of the guest list worked out, and done most of my budgeting. The depressing thing? This is still not going to be that affordable. A few friends have contributed to the registry, which is a BIG help in getting money together. I guess we just have to save, save, save!

God bless, hugs and kisses.

Lots of Love,
><> Elizabeth <><